I see 2007 and think “oh 3 years ago” and then it hits me that it was 7 fucking years ago
"hey can i have a couple of those fries"
#wacom bamboo tablet w/pen for sale. http://www.ebay.com/itm/151249605463
I’m so uptight. It destroys me. I follow the rules exactly how they’re presented to me, I’m constantly worrying… I’m constantly preoccupied about pleasing my parents. I plan out every minute of every day and if something goes wrong, I flip out internally (and sometimes, externally). It doesn’t even have to be wrong. Just if it’s different than I imagined. If we take a different turn or add an extra person, I can’t handle it. But I mean, I handle it anyways. But I just get so uncomfortable. It’s too hard to enjoy anything in my life because of this. I can never get jokes or sarcasm because I’m way too literal about everything. It’s so hard being like this when I’m constantly around people who are the opposite. They always joke and are sarcastic and I don’t understand any of it… I feel so out of place. I’ve been this way for as long as I can remember, even since elementary school; it’s just who I am. But I hate who I am. They say you need to learn to love yourself, but I truly can’t because of this. If people are a minute late for something I have a mini anxiety attack. If I’m not as early as I’d like to be. I have a mini anxiety attack. If I don’t park perfectly straight, that’s the only thing I can think about for the entirety of my class. If I break the rule or do something wrong, my day is over, and it’s filled with tears and shame. When you’ve lived like this for 13 years, I don’t know how I can change myself.
I personally heard that jobs will not hire people like this, well especially the only jobs I’m qualified for. I don’t know what to do. I try to put on a fake face and a fake personality, so I hope that will be enough. I’ve never had a job and I feel like such a loser… I was laughed on the phone when I put “ebay seller” on my job application as experience. I didn’t want to just leave it blank… so I guess I really do have ZERO experience. That sucks… how will I get a job…. I’m uptight, serious, and introverted. No one wants that as an employee. I don’t know how to smile or joke around. I try to joke around but I just do it wrong.
How am I going to begin my life when I’m like this… I need to change myself but I don’t know how… I need to change myself in order to get a job, which I need in order to get an apartment and survive… which I need to go to school and get a degree. Am I even worthy of earning a degree? I don’t know… I just don’t want to be here anymore…
dont kill yourself tonight ok
you have a really pretty smile and i know its not always easy to manage one but itd be a bummer if we never had the chance to see it ever again
youre really important and you matter a lot so stay safe and try and have a nice sleep
I would like a moment to thank the people who reblog post like this so that it eventually shows on my dash.
It is keeping me alive